Unaccustomed As We Are (1929)

Introduction

Laurel and Hardy were a comedy duo composed of Stanley Laurel (1890-1965) and Oliver Hardy (1892-1957). Laurel and Hardy were featured in their first silent short The Lucky Dog (1921). Their first silent short as a comedy duo was The Second Hundred Years (1927). Their career followed the new technological advances of sound in film. In addition to silent shorts in the 1920s, they also released silent films with music and effects. Their first talkie, Unaccustomed As We Are, was released in 1929. Unaccustomed As We Are stars Laurel and Hardy. The talkie was written by Thomas “Leo” McCarey and Harley “H.M.” Walker. The directors were Lewis Foster and Harold “Hal” Roach Sr. The following transcription is from a scene that take place between the 5:39 and 12:31 minute marks.

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(In Hardy’s apartment. Hardy brought Laurel over to his apartment for dinner without telling Mrs. Hardy. Mrs. Hardy refused to make dinner and left) 

Laurel: Well, l guess we don’t eat.

Hardy: Oh, yes, we do eat. l’ll cook you a meal like you’ve never eaten. 

(to himself, cleaning off a table in the center of the room) Nobody else needs to cook my meals for me. One thing about me, l am absolutely independent. l’ve cooked loads of meals.

(Laurel sits reclined in a chair; Hardy trips over Laurel’s outstretched legs)

(to Laurel) Why don’t you do something to help me?

Laurel: What can l do?

Hardy: Set the table. That’s simple. You don’t have to use any brains for that.

(Laurel places plates previously on table on the floor. Hardy trips over the plates. Laurel continues to fumble with table. Hardy swats at Laurel’s hands) 

Get your hands off of that. Go in the kitchen and light the oven. (Laurel trips over Hardy’s foot)

And pick your feet up. And take your hat off. Now go in and light the oven. Thank you.

(Laurel looks at oven and around kitchen with a confused expression on his face. He checks the pockets of his pants. Laurel walks out of the kitchen to Hardy.) 

Laurel: Got a match?

Hardy: Yes. l’ll light it. You fix the table. (Hardy enters kitchen)

(Laurel begins to places cutlery on table)

(Off screen explosion. Fire blazes out of the kitchen for a brief second while Hardy is thrown from the kitchen.)

Why don’t you be careful? You might have blown the whole house up.

You know, there’s a right and wrong way to do everything.

(Off screen explosion. Fire blazes out of the kitchen for a brief second while Hardy is thrown from the kitchen.)

(unintelligible) light that again.

Laurel: Now wait a minute now. l didn’t mean anything-

Hardy: l’m sorry l brought you here! You’ve done nothing-

(knock at the door)

Mrs. Kennedy¹ Mrs. Kennedy is played by Thelma Todd (1906-1935). Mrs. Kennedy is the Hardy’s neighbor.: What in the world is happening, Mr Hardy?

Hardy: Well, l was cooking dinner for my friend and l, and we had a slight accident.

Mrs. Kennedy: Oh, you poor dear boy. Maybe there’s something l could do to help you.

Hardy: That’s awfully sweet of you, Mrs Kennedy.

Mrs. Kennedy: Why, lt would be a pleasure, Mr Hardy.

Hardy: You’re sure l’m not imposing, Mrs Kennedy?

Mrs. Kennedy: Oh, not at all, Mr Hardy.

Hardy: Thank you, Mrs Kennedy.

(Mrs. Kennedy enters kitchen)

Laurel: Was that Mrs Kennedy?

Hardy: Oh, shut up!

(off screen explosion, Mrs. Kennedy screams)

Hardy: Quick What’s the matter?

Mrs. Kennedy, exiting the kitchen: I’m on fire, put me out. I’m on fire, put me out. Oh please put me out. Mr. Hardy, please. Please put me out, Mr Hardy! Put me out!

(Laurel uses his hat and Hardy uses his jacket to put the fire out. Laurel hits Hardy multiple times instead of the fire.) 

Oh please, something to cover me up. (Laurel covers Mrs. Kennedy with the table cloth).

Hardy: Goodness gracious, are you hurt?

Mrs. Kennedy: No, Mr Hardy. lt frightened me to death.

Hardy: l’m awfully sorry that happened, Mrs Kennedy.

Mrs. Kennedy: Oh that’s all right Mr Hardy, accidents will happen.

Hardy: You’re right, Mrs Kennedy.

Mrs. Kennedy: It won’t take me but a minute to put on another dress, Mr. Hardy.

Hardy: You sure l can’t help you Mrs. Kennedy?

Mrs. Kennedy: Oh no, thank you, Mr Hardy.

(Mrs. Kennedy goes to leave. She sees her husband entering the Kennedy apartment. She reenters the Hardy apartment and closes the door). 

My husband.²Mr. Kennedy is played by Edgar Kennedy (1890-1948)..lf he sees me, he’ll, I think, he’ll kill all of us. What’ll l do?

Hardy: Do? Why, we’ll tell him the truth.

Laurel: The whole truth.

Hardy: And nothing but the truth.

Laurel: Absolutely.

Hardy: Pardon. 

(Hardy exits the apartment to approach Mr. Kennedy. He sees his wife in hallway and returns to his apartment)

My wife. What’ll we do?

Laurel: Tell her the truth.

Hardy: Oh shut up. We’ve got to get out of here. (all enter the Hardy’s bedroom) Right in here. (to himself) l don’t know where to go. (to Laurel) Close that door.

(to Mrs. Kennedy) ln the trunk.

(Laurel gets in trunk) 

Mrs. Hardy³ Mrs. Hardy is played by Mae Busch (1891-1946) (off-screen): Yo-hoo

Hardy: (to Laurel) No, not you! Get up!

(to Mrs. Kennedy) Now keep your head down.

Mrs. Hardy: Oh, pussums.

Hardy: What do you mean, pussum?

Mrs. Hardy: Don’t be cross. l’m sorry for what happened and l’ll fix Stan dinner. Look, l brought him some nuts.

Hardy: No, Barbara. We are through.

Mrs. Hardy: Oh but what do you mean?

Hardy: You’ve broken the camel’s back once too often. My trunk is packed and l’m leaving for South America tonight to do big things.

Mrs. Hardy: Oh! But, Oliver…

Hardy: And l’m burning my bridges behind me.

Laurel: Burning your what?

Hardy: Burning my bridges.

Laurel: Oh, l thought you said britches.

Mrs. Hardy: Oh oh but, Oliver, why are you leaving me?

Hardy: Because my friend advised me to go.

Hardy: Come, Stan.

Mrs. Hardy: Oh.

(Laurel and Hardy carry trunk with Mrs. Kennedy out of bedroom)

Mrs. Hardy: Just a minute (grabs Laurel’s shoulder).

You wolf in sheep’s clothing (Mrs. Hardy hits Laurel on his shoulder). lt’s men about town like you that cause all the trouble between man and wife. What do you mean by taking this poor little innocent to South America and advising him to burn his bridges when he never even started a fire in his life?

(Laurel does not respond)

l’m talking to you. Come on. Answer me.

(getting more agitated) What do you mean? Well come on. What do you mean? 

Can’t you answer? 

(Laurel uses his arms to cover his head)

Oh! You’d thrash me, would ya? Oh you would?

Hardy: That boy wasn’t gonna hit you.

Mrs. Hardy: You’d thrash me!

Hardy (yelling over Mrs. Hardy): He wasn’t gonna hit you.

(Hardy and Mrs. Hardy start indistinctly yelling over each other. Camera cuts to outside of apartment where yelling can still be heard). 

Source

Unaccustomed as We Are. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, 1929.

Bibliography

IMDb. “Unaccustomed as We Are (Short 1929).” www.imdb.com. Accessed April 25, 2023. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0020531/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_2_nm_1_q_unaccustome.

Unaccustomed as We Are. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, 1929. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BHU6MPJ-_o.