I’ve found that time and time again, people seem to find the highest form of flattery to autistic people, is to tell the autistic person that they don’t “look” autistic. I have heard of instances where other disabled people have been referred to as not “seeming” disabled or “behaving” just like any abled person would, as a form of abled flattery. I don’t know where it is that abled and/or neurotypical people get this crazy idea that seeming abled or neurotypical is the best compliment someone can give someone with a disability and/or form of neurodivergency.
There is also this crazy assumption that by having any sort of disability or neurodivergency, you likely “look” a certain way or “behave” a certain way. Usually, it is this intensely stereotypical preconception abled and/or neurotypical have developed in their heads, and because you don’t fit this stereotype that they have learned from the media, magically you must be as close as possible to “normal.”
I think this comes from the belief that disabled and neurodivergent people have to be “fixed” because they are “broken.” So, abled and neurotypical people see it as some kind of huge compliment to tell us that we are close to “fixed” or “normal” as we possibly can be.
If you are abled and/or neurotypical, please, please, please, stop doing this if you have done so in the past. It’s annoying, and honestly, a little insulting. It does nothing but tell me that you only respect me as a human being because I have exceeded your incredibly low expectations for disabled and/or neurodivergent people. Please realize that no matter some one’s disability and/or form of neurodivergency, they are still worthy of praise even if they deviate very far from what is considered “normal.”